Alive

I don't remember the song.
It was meant to make the world disappear.
It was meant to drown the noise of my heart
As it got shattered like a mirror.
It was meant to silence the voices in my head.
Yet my tears gave me away 
As I sat naked and chose to stay.
The hero did survive.
Broken, vulnerable yet determined 
I walked home
With the hero in me alive.

The Gift

What were the chances that I'd meet you?
I didn't know much about you.
I knew that your smile vibrated through spaces.
I knew that your laugh echoed in hearts - it always will.
It has power, strength and beauty - all of which is you.
Merely your presence placated restless souls.
How you brought order to madness! 
Or maybe, just hope. 
Even that was way more.

You left something with me.
A to-do box that hasn't been checked.
A jig-saw that hasn't been solved.
A question that hasn't been answered.
Ever since, I scramble to find the answer.
Sometimes trying to find you, instead.

Then I remember,
It was never the answer that was you;
You are alive in the question.

Digging deep into the body

I seem to have attracted some ‘body work’ into my life, this week. I find that I flow quite naturally with this technique and gain a lot from it. It’s definitely a welcome break from over intellectualisation. I still experience the myriad emotions but the good part is they do not seek to be understood, communicated or named…just to be lived and then released.

It reconnects me with my body and places the source of intelligence right here. It helps me slow down and listen for, sometimes basic and other times, deeper messages. From questions like ‘how much salt I’d like in my meal’ to ‘what should be the theme of my next workshop’. The answers lie in my physical body. I’m amazed how simple it really is and how much ‘thinking’ it has saved me. I can silence my need for logic and analysis if something emerges from my core.

I’m glad it revived ‘dance’ for me. Why have I not been doing something I enjoy, all these years? The body tells me what to move, when to move, how to move and a bit later, even why to move. Such a simplistic and yet highly sophisticated source of intelligence neglected, ignored, pushed and silenced. That’s a thing of the past!

Here come the days of reconnecting with the body, listening to it, respecting it, understanding it and revering it. The answers needn’t emerge from the right brain or the left brain but simply from within.

A Pound of Flesh

Arggghh! My frustration stems from my recent struggles with my body. As a change agent, there's much to do, yet the body is unwilling. Or am I over ambitious? I see myself as invincible, even though I know I'm not. It's difficult coming to terms with my limitations.

More than my time and skills, I give away a piece of me. Investment usually means re-energising myself. Not all energy exchange takes place at the same level. There are moments when someone brings much more to the table and that's  heartening. Even if I tire at a physical level, my mind is at peace, soul fulfilled and spirit uplifted.

At 35, I'm starting to understand the growing importance of rejuvenation. And with that, the growing importance of those who bring this energy to the world - fitness coaches, yoga instructors, dieticians, healers, studio potters, gardeners, guitarists...you name it!

I realise how disconnected I am from my own body. Is there sense in getting a lot done if I come crashing down, behind it all?

I'm learning to say no.

I'm learning to let go.

But most of all I'm learning that even less is more.

- Linda Baptista